Your Child's Strength
I am reading the book “Your child’s strength “by Jenifer Fox, Who has a background of being a teacher and principal for various schools for multiple decades and she is from NJ.
Initially as I started reading, some of it dint make sense as all she talked about sounded like a criticism to whole educational system and the expectations parents have from their kids. I felt what does she mean here – We parents should leave kids go ashtray, never show them any direction or provide a guidance to a better life.
It felt like – She is in some kind of denial of the realities of the world which rewards only the winners and losers are those who do not make it to the charts. Who do not carry an upward graphs be it a sport or academics or Arts. Yes – we better accept it sooner than later. After all we parents want best of the best for our kids. We compromise our lives careers family and what not so that they can get all the opportunities they can and achieve what we couldn’t. That where the weakening starts. We lose focus – The focus is not the child anymore but what we expect and what we couldn’t have or what we can (though we really have no control) turn them into.
As it grew to the next chapter – and she sites example of kids who love to read but get discouraged by the test taking and system. When she talks about cheating to pass the test or better the scores- It started making sense, a lot of it.
I started reading the book with the same idea- Trying to find something more about creating the best possibilities for his development, providing him the best I can offer.
I switched gears and started to think actually what really made me what I am today? Was it my school, College or the family or the neighborhood? It was a flash back and I couldn’t help myself from pondering over.
I though what my strengths are, what are the reasons that I have come so far. From a small city in India with a Degree from not-much-known college in a not-too-rewarding field. I am doing a job for which I was never trained and actually I am not using any of the technology or lessons taught in those classes. So what is it?
Thinking about school the only subject I remember studying was history, how proud I felt for the war of independence our ancestors fought and how brave were they. That was thrilling and actually I always scored well in history. Though I do not remember how the books looked like or the teacher who taught – I feel like I learned those while preparing for the republic day celebration or Independence Day parade that I participated in without fail – Year over Year. I did sing in front of student seniors and juniors, teachers and their families- Feeling proud. Oh yes that reminds me how much I loved to go in classes and teach younger kids on the Teachers day Celebration. So I was a people person, highly energetic, beaming with ideas kind and helpful. I bet – My parents will completely deny it as I used to be the quietest person around. I always preferred to the trees I planted than the families, as I always felt they misunderstood me and I do not need to explain myself further. I used to be very scared of dark and being alone – for a very long time, I guess till I got married and arrived here I had no other choice but to live alone while my husband went to work. I conquered my fear – And it took quite some time.
Back to learning from school: I did try to cheat in an exam or two, But unfortunately while I wrote those tiny notes I actually remember those and I never needed to look back when I was in exams, I am not sure I might have actually looked at those and those might have helped me barely pass my math tests. Those used to be the math’s formulas.
I managed to pass and then when I got chance I never reopened those books. I once told my sister – I feel funny doing algebra and trigonometry as those talks about things really do not exist. While geometry did make sense to me and those helped me get required pass marks for the test – The live saver and actually only part I liked to learn about.
So basically it is what you like to learn is what you learn!
At college all I learnt was to shield myself, that’s what I did and it was my job when I actually learned something enjoyed it and let myself free. The college was the worst part- I was thoroughly confused what I want to do and wasn’t sure if things I like to do will make enough money as a career or not. I rather relied on others than myself to pick and choose and landed not-so-happy-and-satisfied but safe for sure.
Though I am still reading the part, where she talks about how we encourage the weaknesses in our children, I can not wait to start reading how can we actually strengthen them?
Initially as I started reading, some of it dint make sense as all she talked about sounded like a criticism to whole educational system and the expectations parents have from their kids. I felt what does she mean here – We parents should leave kids go ashtray, never show them any direction or provide a guidance to a better life.
It felt like – She is in some kind of denial of the realities of the world which rewards only the winners and losers are those who do not make it to the charts. Who do not carry an upward graphs be it a sport or academics or Arts. Yes – we better accept it sooner than later. After all we parents want best of the best for our kids. We compromise our lives careers family and what not so that they can get all the opportunities they can and achieve what we couldn’t. That where the weakening starts. We lose focus – The focus is not the child anymore but what we expect and what we couldn’t have or what we can (though we really have no control) turn them into.
As it grew to the next chapter – and she sites example of kids who love to read but get discouraged by the test taking and system. When she talks about cheating to pass the test or better the scores- It started making sense, a lot of it.
I started reading the book with the same idea- Trying to find something more about creating the best possibilities for his development, providing him the best I can offer.
I switched gears and started to think actually what really made me what I am today? Was it my school, College or the family or the neighborhood? It was a flash back and I couldn’t help myself from pondering over.
I though what my strengths are, what are the reasons that I have come so far. From a small city in India with a Degree from not-much-known college in a not-too-rewarding field. I am doing a job for which I was never trained and actually I am not using any of the technology or lessons taught in those classes. So what is it?
Thinking about school the only subject I remember studying was history, how proud I felt for the war of independence our ancestors fought and how brave were they. That was thrilling and actually I always scored well in history. Though I do not remember how the books looked like or the teacher who taught – I feel like I learned those while preparing for the republic day celebration or Independence Day parade that I participated in without fail – Year over Year. I did sing in front of student seniors and juniors, teachers and their families- Feeling proud. Oh yes that reminds me how much I loved to go in classes and teach younger kids on the Teachers day Celebration. So I was a people person, highly energetic, beaming with ideas kind and helpful. I bet – My parents will completely deny it as I used to be the quietest person around. I always preferred to the trees I planted than the families, as I always felt they misunderstood me and I do not need to explain myself further. I used to be very scared of dark and being alone – for a very long time, I guess till I got married and arrived here I had no other choice but to live alone while my husband went to work. I conquered my fear – And it took quite some time.
Back to learning from school: I did try to cheat in an exam or two, But unfortunately while I wrote those tiny notes I actually remember those and I never needed to look back when I was in exams, I am not sure I might have actually looked at those and those might have helped me barely pass my math tests. Those used to be the math’s formulas.
I managed to pass and then when I got chance I never reopened those books. I once told my sister – I feel funny doing algebra and trigonometry as those talks about things really do not exist. While geometry did make sense to me and those helped me get required pass marks for the test – The live saver and actually only part I liked to learn about.
So basically it is what you like to learn is what you learn!
At college all I learnt was to shield myself, that’s what I did and it was my job when I actually learned something enjoyed it and let myself free. The college was the worst part- I was thoroughly confused what I want to do and wasn’t sure if things I like to do will make enough money as a career or not. I rather relied on others than myself to pick and choose and landed not-so-happy-and-satisfied but safe for sure.
Though I am still reading the part, where she talks about how we encourage the weaknesses in our children, I can not wait to start reading how can we actually strengthen them?
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