On the Wall Street and my own

Seems the Wall Street has its entire wall invaded and crushed. This is the 3rd Monday since the Lehman collapse and there is no end in sight. Last Monday Citi announced its Wachovia deal and there was an upbeat mood at Citi offices, people were running around only stopping to catch a breath - busy making plans and charts which just culminated into a Law suit today morning. Well I thanks god for letting me have what I still have in life while I can not help grieving over the losses, may be it was never mine but the still the loss is all mine. I admire and respect those men of steel who are pulling through this turmoil and standing up for their rights, dignity and people. It is treacherous without any end in sight. I wonder why commoners like us become a part of it while we did nothing but worked hard, dreamt, and tried to lead a fulfilling life. That was all – Was that too much? I am in shallow mood today but since it is very quite on the business front as people are not holding their breath to hear the final verdict, even I am constantly refreshing the finance.yahho.com web page to keep track of latest headlines.
I do not know but I do feel some kind of dull thrill – As I know I am being part of a historical series of events. Are we going to be the next generation who saw the second great depression of American history? How are we going to pull in through? How are we going to survive it? It is like a calamity a financial chaos.
Every time I open my mouth to speak I am talking about it- repeating the same thing over and over which is no good. I kept talking about it with Alta while we went to get lunch. She kept telling me how things always change and you lose some you also gain some, good that I have what really matters in life. Things like Love and Family. Do I, Really? Well that’s another never ending battle of mine with me and I do not want to get into it all over again. What a waste of mental and emotional resource it is, even if you do not consider the time spent on it. Well I just dismissed her ideas saying “you must be reading too much philosophy “She said she can’t help! Having a father who is a philosophy professor.
Well that reminded me that I took philosophy in college and how much I enjoyed it. And whatever Alta was doing to make be feel better – Did work.
I tried to utilize the time and keep my mind of my profusely bleeding portfolio- seeing my hard earned money converting into ashes. I am doing some research and looking at various sites where an author can publish themselves. Who knows I might earn some royalty on the book. Though I know It wont sell more than 50 copies and while I will have to buy my own copies that will make at least 20 of them. Well at least I will live one of my dreams since I was a child. Who knows what will happen to me – anything can happen to anybody. The world it full of possibilities of Danger and all the bright little things for happiness and serenity which brings sense of fulfillment to life. Doesn’t it?
I started working on the Manuscript a bit – I am thinking of finishing it by end of the week and sharing it with people I know, who can help me streamline it. Only if they were with me here today – I could have just handed it over to get it in perfect order, speaking my mind. Well It was me steering away and though regrets, Please no regrets. I called them to ask the standard size of a book so I can put in order all my poems. Thinking about a name, I came up with “Celebration of Life”. It will be appealing to masses and actually no matter what we do, we all live our lives through so why not celebrate it. Also because the poems I have written vary by my mood and the outlook on life on that particular moment, expressing life.
I also planned to divide the collection in 5 parts and ended up with 6. I am planning to get rid of one category once I am done collecting, translating all my poems. I am unsure of which one should I get rid of.
They are
1. The Optimism
2. The Love
3. Tricks of Mind
4. The sorrows
5. The chaos
6. Its Everyday

The first 3 are not going anywhere for sure – While I might merge the 4 and 5 together. When I created the last category it is actually about those general poems which go for everybody and applies to daily events with no relation to certain feeling or emotion of human psyche. While the rest of them are targeted so the readers can feel “Yes I did feel that way before”. I have to come up with a better name for the last general category.
Any suggestions?
I hope it all doesn’t crumble and end up being a blog and nothing beyond that. I have so many of them in my closet already and I do not need another one.