Projects

Well I finished making 20 faces and I guess 30 should be enough for the size of collage I have in my mind. I showed those 20 to Praveen and he thought Most of them do not look happy, and he was actually right as there is no body in and around the train unless they are with their loved ones which is a very rare scenario. People with kids are usually annoyed in process of calming them down and rest of the people are in so much rush or tired that there is no smiles, any happiness or any sign communication of around if not frustration.
So is it the communication that brings happiness, if not real at least the virtual one?

I will make 10 more in next 2 days, though today I will be leaving at lunch time and I will have the whole day tomorrow to catch up with things. I wish I am able to do it. I have been moved to this new isolated position, which has bigger desk more space and more quite also a better view. According to Feng Shui it is good to have a water body in front of you and so this is just perfect. I am also becoming an island at myself.
I am not at all communicating with others on this floor and I am in no touch with people on the other floor. It is weird. If I want to last here that I seriously do , I need to make a circle. But people here are either busy or pretending to be so, or is it me who is shielding myself?

What a day, I am bouncing from one question to another. Good it is not going to be a long day and I will be going home earlier than usual. It is my Father-In-Laws death anniversary today. Being Brahmin even we prepare food that he used to prefer and host 5+ other Brahmin families. I somehow want to do this with great care and all by myself. Somehow I feel as if I am really preparing it for him and he is watching me and enjoying every bit of it. I can not miss it for anything in the world though I missed something I shouldn’t have. The regret is going to be forever.
Forgive me
I know – I know, it was not right.
But that’s what appeared right at that moment.
I knew – I knew all the way through.
It was immoral but everybody else, thought otherwise.
And I was not the one who could speak on you behalf.
I kept quite and felt tattered in between.
I knew that you knew I could feel your ache.
But that was heartbreaking – I dint say while you could not.
Now that you have departed – I feel like perpetrator.
For knowing it all and keeping you in dark.
I took away from you, your last opportunity.
Your last chance for speaking out.
Your last chance for making it through.
Your last chance for feeling fulfilled.
Your last chance of sharing the dreams.
Your last chance for preparing everything.
For an enlightened man – That you were.
I bet there were more than few things to tell.
Please enlighten me somehow, through the ether you belong.
Please reach me today and speak aloud.
I have been pleading you, since the day you left.
Now I know you can’t, you must have moved on.
Whilst I am here and till I am alive.
Will be guilty for not being there.
When you sought for me, just to hear you out.
Though it was lone you who were breathing the last.
Something in me went missing with you.
I have this deceased and blessed corner in me.
That will stay the same – No matter how many era pass.
All I will be craving in my life – to hear you someday.
Just those last things that you really had to say.
Please say it somehow because you only know how.
I just have one thing to inquire.
Papa, Can you ever forgive me?