कैसे ख़तम होती है कहानी
बस इतना जो पता होता
तो फिर देखते तुम और जानती दुनिया
मुझको और मेरी लेखनी को
लेकिन क्या करूँ, की मुझे बस पता है
की कैसे होती है शुरू , पर अंत विहीन
कैसे लिखू
जब नहीं जानती कैसे होगी ख़तम
क्या तुम्हे पता है?

पहनकर प्यार कलाई में, सजाकर प्यार माथे पर


बदलकर हार गलो के

विदा तुमने किया

बहाकर गंगा आँखों से, रखकर ह्रदय पर हिमालय

मुरझाया सा लेकर कमल-सा मन

विदा तुमने किया

खोलकर मन की सारी गाँठ, मिटाकर भ्रान्ति के एहसास

बांधकर गठारी भर विश्वाश

विदा तुमने किया

पाने को ये सौगात, मिटाने दुनियाभर की थकान

चखने प्रेम के असली स्वाद

मैं वापस आऊंगी

बड़ा ही मायूस आज ये मन है, हफ्ते भर से सोच मगन है


आखिर भूल हुयी है कौन सी, खुद पर अब संदेह हुआ है

सच तो है मासूम नहीं मैं, कभी स्वार्थ से कभी मोह से

कौन बचा है? बची नहीं मैं

लेकिन इतना भी मानो सच है, जिसको गले लगया है

बाते चाहे नहीं बनायीं, लेकिन जीवन-ह्रदय बसाया है

कोई चाहे कुछ भी कह दे,सुन लुंगी-दुहरा भी दूं

लेकिन जिसको दोस्त कहा था, उसको कैसे ठुकरा दूं?

शायद मैंने गलत सुना था , या फिर तुमने झूठ कहा?

गरिमा, मर्यादा रिश्तो की, रह गए नाहक शब्द भला?

गर वो सब था दिखलावा, तो फिर आखिर सच क्या है?

कोई मुझको बतलाये फिर इस रिश्तो का अर्थ क्या है?

बेमतलब सब कुछ अर्थहीन , बातो बातो पे अग्निपरीक्छा

कब तुम कैसी राह धरोगे, ये सब बस तुम्हारी इच्छा?

चोट लगी जब सहलाया

पुचकारा थोडा फुसलाया

और फिर अपनी राह पकड़ ली, ऐसी कैसी रिश्तेदारी?

है दम और बिस्वास जरा भी तो फिर दिखला सच्चाई

करो सामना, यही वक़्त है, लो अपनी अपनी जिम्मेदारी

जटिल बड़े जटिल सवाल


कई जवाब लेकिन

नहीं कोई सही जवाब

उपयुक्त? लगते से कुछ मुझे

लेकिन, वही बे बुनियाद

जब उन्हें परखो फिर एक बार

भ्रमित, उलझन में खोया सा

मनुष्य, परखते परखते

एक के बाद,एक और जवाब

किसी बिरले की होती है किस्मत भली

की लगता है अंक सही

पहली या दूसरी बार

और समेट मोहरे, मनाता है जीवन का त्यौहार

हम तो उन बचे खुचे लोगो की भीड़ में

जिन्हे बस उम्र भर जवाब ढूँढने हैं.

है वक़्त कम


जज़्बात बिखरे हुए हैं

हो रही है घडी

एहसास बस में नहीं है

देर किस बात की?

और लज्दी भी कैसी?

सिमटे से दायरों में

फैली-फैली जिंदगी.

परछाई मेरी


चलती तो हो मेरे साथ साथ

क्यों नहीं बोलती कुछ

क्यों रहती हो चुप चाप

तुमसे करीब और कौन मुझसे

तुमसे दूर रहे कोई कैसे

गुम हो जाती हो लेकिन, अँधेरा घिरते ही

छोडती हो मुझको अकेली , जान के भी

की डर लगता है मुझको, हर अंधकार से

ख्याल आते है, बेकार न जाने कहाँ से

रौशनी की एक किरण से, उठ कड़ी होती हूँ

मेरी परछाई, मेरी सहेली, को जो पाती हूँ

कद तुम अपना भले बदलती रहेती हो

पर सच तो ये है, साथ सदा रहेती हो

आज सुबह उठकर किरणों से रोशन, देखा भीगी घास में
उछलते भागते, और चुचाप बैठकर निहारतेएक खरगोश को, लगाते छलांगे
तो फिर पूछा मैंने, क्यों क्या तुम भी जागे हो कल रात
नहीं आई नींद - क्यों की थी मन में सोच?
क्या लाएगी कल की सुबह
या भी था डर की होगी या न होगी
सुनहरी तकदीर और लाएगी भोर
करवट बदलने में भी ये थी झिझक
की कही डोलेगा इन्द्र का सिन्हासन
और आज ही की रात हो जायेगा सब भष्म
किसी तरह से काटी रात
दर-दर कर ली हर एक सांस
धुप की हर किरण से जगी उम्मीद
और आये हो देखने, बाहर भविष्य
क्यों किया व्यर्थ तुने ए दोस्त
वो स्वपन जो आनेठे कल रात
रह गए अधूरे कई ख्वाब
जाओ जाओ जी भर के जी लो ये पल
क्युकी बस यही तो जो, फिर लौट के नहीं आता

दिल में यु तो आरजुएं हज़ार


जो पाती हैं बस इंतज़ार

तडपती रूह है हर पल

पाने को उनके एक दीदार

आँखे खुली हो या हो बंद

नज़र आते हैं बस वही

छूटती हर लम्हे के साथ

उनसे मिलने की उम्मीद

ख्वाबो और खयालो में

बनाकर एक ताजमहल

भरकर सनम को बाहों में

हो जाए किसिदीन ये जो अगर

गुज़र जाए मुहब्बत का जूनून


इस जिश्म से , इससे पहले

की बंद हो जाए धड़कना दिल का

और रह जाए तरसती रूह

सदियों तक

हमारे ताजमहल में

सिरहाने रखकर तेरी याद, हर रात
हम सोये हैं
दुहराते मन में ख्याल, हर एक पुरानी बात

भीगे तकियों पे, बदलते करवट
उनीदी रात, हमने काटी है
चुभते सपनो के साथ, अनगिनत बार


ढकते काजल से, जागी आँखों के दाग
हर सुबह, आइने के पास
झूठी मुस्कान, बस एक उम्मीद और इंतज़ार


झूठी ही सही, फिर भी आखिर है तो ये आस
टटोलते मन को
न जाने किस ख़ुशी की तलाश

होली नहीं मनाई जबसे धुलने वाले रंगों से
सात समन्दर दूर हुए, घर से साथी-संगो से
झूठ ये होगा अगर कहेंगे, जीवन में कुछ कमी नहीं
जब भी ऐसे दिन आये हैं, आँखों में एक नमी नहीं
लेकिन सच तो ये भी है की, सबने अपनाया है
रिश्ते नए ,नयी दोस्ती , नया परिवार बनाया है
होली तो ऐसा उत्सव है, जो ये याद दिलाता है
रंग दिलो पर प्रेम-भाव का, धुलने से कब धुलता है?

नहीं नहीं अरे भई, ये कोई बड़ी बात नहीं
इतनी सी बात पे, बढाओ कोई बात नहीं
ऐसा तो अक्सर ही होता रहेता है
सदियों से, हर घर में होता आया है
छोड़ो भी जाने दो, न बहाओ टेसुए
तुम भी बस, जब देखो "शुरू" हो गए

ठीक बिलकुल ठीक, लो पोंछ लिए मैंने आंसू
पत्ते तुम बाटोगे या मैं बाटूँ?
खेल ही है, और क्या इससे ज्यादा कुछ नहीं
पारी शुरू नयी, एक के ख़तम होते ही
धोखे पहेलि पारी अब बात करो तो गलती है
लेकिन फिर तुम चाल चलोगे, उसकी भी गारंटी है

अब लो , बात बनाने में, तुमसे आगे कोई नहीं
खेलो हंसो एन्जॉय करो, इसमें तो पाबन्दी नहीं?
मज़ा किरकिरा हर बात क्यों जाने का देती हो
कहाँ कहाँ की बातो की तुम गठरी बांधे फिरती हो

क्या करू मैं अभी-अभी तो आस्मां से गिरी नहीं
जो मैं कहने वाली थी, वो बात ख़तम भी हुयी नहीं
बात सही ,इन खेलो से मुझको कोई द्वेष नहीं है यारी है
लेकिन बंधू ये याद रहे , बस यही आखिरी पारी है

झूठी मुठी तू बतिया बनावे
मेरा होके तुम मुझे ही फ़साये
पागल दीवाना, कहू क्या कुछ तुझे मैं
लेकिन आखिर में तू, मुझे ही रुलाये
जाने लेता है बदले तू किस जनम के
हुआ जो तू उसका, मेरे सीने में रह के
भोली भाली मैं, तू भी निकला सीधा साधा
उस जादूगर ने , न जाने क्या मंतर डाला
फसे मोह में हम और वो न जाने कहा है
मानव जीवन की, यही तो विडम्बना है

मुस्कुराहटें

मुस्कुराहटें जो बिखरी
तो बस , बिखरी सो बिखरी
असली या नकली, फैली तो फैली
चेहरे पे मेरे, हो या तुम्हारे
जो छायी, मिटाई इसने उदासी
समेटो समेटो ये मायूसी के डेरे
यहाँ पर नहीं डालो कहीं और फेरे
अब नहीं तेरी न मेरी चलेगी
यहाँ पे अब बस मुस्कराहट बटेगी

Valentines Day

To all those people, who do not forget following:

1. To check weather before heading out
2. To take EZ pass before hitting a highway
3. Always arrive at airport 1 hour before it is needed
4. Track latest news on world economy and stock prices
5. Never ever be late for a meeting and always prepared
6. Have a running list of "Things-to-Do" and never tardy
7. Never miss a train and if do, know exactly which one follows

Assume, it is perfectly alright to forget the days that demand little display of love and affection to your loved once. It is still not too late. Go and wish "Valentines Day' to your beloved and guess what? You need not wait till it is 2/14. It can be anyday, it can be everyday!

सूरज

घोसलों में जब सुनता हूँ करवटे
समझ जाता हूँ अब आना होगा
हो सुबह जैसी भी, हो गयी-रात कैसी भी
जो छाए हो बादल और पता हो
रखेंगे मुझको छिपाकर या जायेंगे भिगोकर
मैं नहीं सुनता, नहीं रुकता
आता हूँ मैं हररोज़
करता हूँ प्रदख्सिना पूरी
देखता हो, सुनता हूँ चुपचाप
इस दुनिया का बाज़ार, लाखो करोडो सालो से
युगों युगों से, देखता आया हूँ परिवर्तन
कभी मायुश, कभी क्रोधित और कभी खुश भी हुआ हूँ
लेकिन , चुपचाप मैंने की है बस मेरी दिनचर्या पूरी
सोचता हूँ जो होता मैं मानव तो कर पाता
कितना कुछ, मैं भी लाता परिवर्तन
मैं तो सूरज हूँ पर तुम
क्यों बस करते हो दिनचर्या पूरी
नहीं बंधे तुम प्रकृति की धुरी से
जाओ जाओ वहां तक जहाँ से
लौट जाये सबकुछ बस पहुचे खुसिया
तुम्हारी और मानव जाती की
मैं भी देखूंगा क्या मेरी किरने कर पाती है मुकाबला
मैं क्या, बस सूरज

This is a song

तू जो रहेता है छिपकर मेरे खयालो में
बेवजह दिल ये मेरा उलझा है सवालो में
तू क्यों रहेता है छिपकर मेरे खयालो में
खामखाह दिल ये मेरा उलझा है सवालो में
तुझसे मिलने की अब उम्मीद कोई बाकी नहीं
तुझको देखेंगे अब हम चाँद या सितारों में
कर दी दीवानगी की हद मैंने
खोया खुद को जो तुझको पाने में
मिट गए हम न मिटा इश्क मेरा
ऐसा होता है क्या ज़माने में, ऐसा होता है क्या इस ज़माने में
हम थे नासमझ जो न समझे
तुम जो समझा गए इशारो में ....तू क्यों रहेता है..

शायद अभी अभी खयालो में आकर गए हो तुम
की खुशबु बिखरी है, मेरे चारो ओर
बंद कर लूं जो पलके तो देख भी लू शायद
टटोल कर भी देखा की शायद उंगलियों को
महसूस होगी , जो हो तुम यही कही
खोली मैंने आंखे, कह-कहो में सबके
कहा भी किसी ने "क्या अंधे हो गए हो"?
उठाकर सर को, बड़े ही अभिमान से
चल दी मैं और कहा भी,उन सबसे पलट कर
तुम्हे क्या पता? प्यार अँधा होता है...

पैरो के निशान कुछ इस तरह
दिल पे हमारे, लिखे हैं तुम्हारे
की पढने जो बैठे ,तो पढ़ तो लेंगे
है इतना भाषा का हमको तो ज्ञान
लेकिन गणित में पिछड़े हुए है
ये टुकड़े दिल के कैसे गिनेगे
उम्र हमारी गुजर ही जाएगी
इसीलिए करके उनको अनदेखा
बस निशान तुम्हारे उम्र भर पढेंगे

Cactus & Lotus

Cactus
Grows and flourishes on deserted grounds
Endures and thrives in extreme conditions
Adapts to survive, covers self with prickles
Lives by itself and doesn’t easily withers
Standing proud and tall in desert land
Cactus I am, dare you lay your hands

Lotus
Blossoms, blossoms colorful it floats
Sweet delightful fragrances it boasts
Sways with all winds that gushes by
Floats on with every wave passing by
Moist and muddled. Oh tender so tender,
Connections deep attached under water
If you are careless as me, don’t mind the mess
Feel me close, I am all for caress

थमी थमी सी साँसे, और तेज़ सी धड़कन है
तुम आए क्या? अभी नहीं - ये तो बस आह्ट है
आज मिलोगे फिर जाने तुमसे कब मिलना होगा
बंद नहीं , खुली आँखों से तुमको फिर देखूंगी क्या?
भर लूं मैं आज तुमको, अपनी सासों में कुछ ऐसे
रहे खुशबु , बीते सदिया और जबतक चलती है साँसे

कोई आता है और कोई हो जाता है दूर
पागल ये मन, अपनी आदत से मजबूर
होकर के भी पास, किसी से अनजाना
न होकर भी हो एहसास ऐसा है अपना
हाथो की रेखाओ में, बुना है तेरा नाम कही
मैं ही बस पढ़ सकी हूँ,
मुट्ठी में बंद खुशिया, खोलू तो जाएगी बिखर
डर से, इनको बांधे रखती हूँ
दुखता सा है,कही खिचे मन को जो इक डोर
बिखरे बिखरे सपने, बस सन्नाटो का शोर
झूठी झूठी सब बाते, सब कुछ बस एक छलावा
सच एक तुम हो , और प्यार मेरा
सारी दुनिया झूठी , सारे रिश्ते ढोंग-दिखावा

पकड़कर चढ़ी थी, उम्मीदों की बूंदों
जब बारिशे घनी थी खुशियों की
बैठ सपनो के बादलो पे
देखा उगते सूरज को
पल भर को ही था देखा
की इन्द्रधनुष ने उतारा
मुझे फिर से जमीं पर
गीली थी मिटटी, किचड़ो में सनी मैं
बस देखती रही ऊपर , सोचती रही
क्या पाया , क्या चाहा और क्या खोया ?

कुछ खुबसूरत सा, सूरज की पहली किरण में
चमकता ओस की बूंद सा, धुला धुला सा
पहली बरसात में, कोमल कोपल सा
कांपता हर झोके से, नाजुक पंखुड़ी सा
मासूम इठलाता , करता अनगिनत अदाए
कितनी कहानियां, किस किस को सुनाये
बदलते मौसम की ये सर्द हवाए
डरती हूँ कहीं न मेरा ये फूल मुरझाये

उधार की इस जिंदगी में , आरजुए हज़ार और उम्मीदे कम
खावाहिस इतनी की किश्तों में मिले खुशिया और किश्तों में गम

कमल ह्रदय का

महकते कमल सा
खुला अधखुला सा
बहकता हवा संग
पानीयो पे डोलता सा
डूबता सूरज संग
करती बंद पंखुड़िया
फिर उनींदी सी खुलती
वो भोर की किरण से
लहरों पे भागती-झूमती
कभी कोम्हल सी, धूप में
ये कमल ह्रदय का
मेरा तुम्हारा

खुबसूरत ख्याल

ख्याल एक खुबसूरत सा, कल रात में आया था
पर रौशनी गुल थी , और न थी लेखनी हाथ में
याद कर कर के उस ख्याल को
खुद को सोने से रोका था, पर नींद आनी थी सो आके ही रही
फिर भी, किया प्रयास की, वो मेरा ख्याल
खो न जाए कहीं, सपनो की गलियों में
पर अनगिनत खेल खेलने वाला ये मन
न जाने दिखाता रहा मुझे सपने कैसे कैसे
सुबह आँख जो खुली मेरी, रौशनी ही रौशनी थी
सपनो की कुछ परछाईया भी तैर सी रही थी
पर जैसे धुप के खिलते ही, गुम हो जाती है ओस
धूमिल हो गई सारी परछाईया
और मेरा खुबसूरत ख्याल, उन्ही अंधेरो में खो गया
जहाँ जाने को कोई राह ही नहीं....

मुस्कान

ले आऊँ खरीद झूठी मुस्कान
जो तुम्हे पता हो कोई दुकान
कुछ छिपे नहीं तुमसे हालत
फिर भी कहते हो हसने की बात
जब घाव मेरे बन गए मजाक
समझाउंगी मैं अब क्या ख़ाक ?
क्रेडिट कार्ड से, एक पैक स्माइल
ऑनलाइन अब आर्डर करनी होगी
जो पता दिया था उलझनों को
वही इसकी भी डेलिवेरी होगी

Me and The Bengali in me

Why am I writing this blog today, well stumbled upon this BW Bengali love song sung by Hemanth Mukherjee and Sandhya Mukherjee “Ei Path Jodi na sesh hoy” on YouTube which was also sung in Hindi later. A very old song and don’t know why I could not resist listening to 10 more on the same line. Soon I was listening to Aarati Mukhopadhay “Tokhon Tomar Ekkush Bachhar” and thoroughly enjoying it. It was magical and I realized that it was hard for me to leave my desk or take off the earphones off. I dint feel like missing a single word of the lyrics. I never felt this way listening to Bruno Mars, Rheanna or Enrique.
I searched for Nachiketa and Suman Chatterjee, who used to be one of my favorite while I was in college and found pretty much all the songs on YouTube. Listening to them all over again was a compulsion inside and impossible to resist.
Though native Hindi speaker Bengali was the first language I spoke as a child. Bengali is one of the most melodious language and the classic music touches the heart straight. If you can decipher the meaning I highly recommend listening to them. Enjoy!

परिचय

परिचय कोई जो मेरा पूछता है मुझसे
कह देती हूँ बाते मैं न जाने कितनी ही
लेकिन तभीतक जबतक न होता है सामना
मेरा मुझी से, मेरे आईने से
अवाक् सी होकर देखती रह जाती हूँ
भूल जाती हूँ क्या था परिचय मेरा
और क्या तुलना मेरी, इस तस्वीर से

लम्हों की जुगाली

याद किया तुमको जब कल भी
यादो के गलियारों में
खेतो में खलिहानों में
बाते सारी कर के याद
लम्हों की जुगाली की
मौसम में बहारो के
जैसे उग आती है घास
हरे भरे मैदानो में
बाते यादे थी भरपेट
बाहो में सब लिया समेट
याद किया तुमको जब कल भी

बसंत

होली आयी ले उपहार बसंत का
प्रेम भाव और साथ संग का
उस बसंत से इस बसंत तक
मिला सौगात अनूठे अनुभवों का

इसी बात पर आज यहाँ पर
चलो उडाओ रंग गुलाल
पीछे छोड़कर कडवी खट्टी
मिले भुलाकर मन के मलाल

मेरा पागल मन, कब सुनता है
की किस दिन और किस ऋतू में होली है
बंधुजनो के मुस्कान में
अपनी तो बस रोज़ ही होली है

तेरी-मेरी होली

आनंदित मन , पुलकित शरीर
रंगों का दिन, हुआ मन अधीर
आये करीब होली की बेला
नाचे मन मयूर मेरा अलबेला
होंगे अनुष्ठान और क्या व्यंजन
उत्सव ही उत्सव , न कोई बंधन
किया साल भर जो इंतज़ार
आया बसंत फिर कर श्रृंगार
उमड़ा ह्रदय में जो है दुलार
रंग देंगे मिल के हम ये संसार
क्या नीली और क्या पिली
ये है तेरी-मेरी होली

एक रंग

मैं तो रंगी बस एक रंग साजन
रंग चढ़े न दूजे
चाहे डारो कितने , रंग बिरंगे
प्रीत का रंग न छूटे
बिन तेरे मेरा मन अँधियारा
न कोई दीपक, करे उजियारा
कैसी होली कैसी दिवाली मेरी
जीवन मेरा जैसे दिशा हारा
हरपाल लगी बस आश दरश की
यादे ह्रदय में लाखो बरष की
एक होली में ऐसी रंगी में
कोई भी होली फिर ना खेली मैं

होली

होली बस त्यौहार नहीं
पूरे जीवन का सार है ये
ये नीले पीले रंग नहीं
खुशियों का आधार है ये
रंग कर चेहरे एक दूजे के
सब इक रंग में रंग जाते है
बाँट गिले शिकवे और खुशिया
तो ही हम इंसान कहाते है
हम भी तो रंगों जैसे है
दिखने से सबसे अलग अलग
पर हिस्से है इक परिवार के
होली के दिन सब मस्त मलंग
मिल कर अबकी होली में फिर से हुडदंग मचाएंगे
कौन छोटा और कौन बड़ा, सब एक रंग में रंग जायेंगे

खुशहाली पकाओ

चलो सुलझाए कोई आज गुत्थी
रिश्तो की गांठे
गिरहे तेरे-मेरे मन की
रसोई में घर की
हाँ लगेगा बहुत सारा वक़्त
और धीरज भी लाना होगा
थोडा हल्का सा मन और
मुस्कराहट से सजाना होगा
परोसेंगे आज रात थाली में
सुलझा सा मन और कुछ मीठी यादे
कहकहो की लस्सी और सुलगती सी बाते
कड़वा और तीखा आज की मेनू से हटाओ
ऐसे ही अब घर में खुशहाली पकाओ

अनदेखा कर दो

कुछ नया..कुछ नया कहाँ से सुनाऊ
गीत मेरे पुराने की मैं वोही पुरानी हूँ
नयी नयी बाते ढूंढ़ कर कहाँ से लाऊं
आँखों को मेरी भाती है, बाते पुरानी
रंग नए लाकर बनाऊं मैं कैसे
नए चित्र कोई, जो तुम्हे पसंद आये
मेरे पास एक वोही पुरानी कलम है
इन्द्रधनुष में युगों से वही सात रंग है
पर कोई नहीं कहेता , इनको बदल डालो
मुझमे भी कही छवि है उस एक शक्ति को
पसंद ए थो आये, या अनदेखा कर दो

कठपुतली सी मैं तुम्हारी उंगलियों के बीच
अनगिनत ही नाच दिनरात नचाती है
भावनाए मेरी , कब मेरी हुई हैं
बस बाते तुम्हारी, रुठती और मनाती है
कहने से तुम्हारे ही छाते हैं बादल
और ये पागल मन मेरा मयूर बन नाचता है
छिप जो जाते हु तुम बदलो में चाँद बनकर
चकोर बन ये निष् दिन तुम्ही को ढूंढता है
तोड़ कर ये सारे बंधन छूट जाऊं भी तो कैसे
की धागों से तेरे, मेरी सांसो का रास्ता है

है किसका इंतज़ार
की दर्पण में बार बार
सवारती हूँ खुद को
पर हर एक बार
आहट कोई भी
ध्यान लेती है खीच
तुम तो आते नहीं
बिखर जाती हूँ मैं फिर
इस आने जाने के बीच

समय

समय की धार पर, जैसे तलवार पर
चलते चलते आ गए हैं हम इतनी दूर
जहाँ से लौटने के असार तो नहीं
पर बेलगाम मन को, चाहत है जरुर

कमल

मन हो कमल के पत्ते सा
ढलक जाए छूकर बस
हर एक भावना
अच्छी या बुरी
कोई भी कैसी भी
और रह जाए मन
जस का तस
न हो तर ये मेरा मन
और डूबा ले जाए भावनाए
इन्हें गहरे और गहरे
जहाँ डूब जाये साथ कमल भी

Who likes rain – I do.

It is a cloudy and rainy day, to everybody else it’s kind of dull, depressing and they cannot wait for the sun to be out again. Knowing that tomorrow is going to be a similar day only makes them feel further miserable.
Not to me though. I have written so many poems in my past and posted them on blog of how I love rains. I feel as if these clouds filled with rain are looking down on me and playing, waiting for me to come out and they will soak me. I also feel like a peacock sometimes and wish to spread my wings and dance in the rain. The clouds seem to have made a tent, and in a way it is trying to accomplish a sense of intimacy with world. Aha! A natural trick, who know?
No wonder every time I heard the song “Rain, Rain Go away” I thought it is kind of rude to say that.
Well, I was just talking to somebody and listening to her complains about rain, which I couldn’t agree. I said “I smiled every time I got in the car today and turned wipers on”. It feels so wonderful to me.
“Oh! You might have some memories that you connect with when it rains”, she said with a wink.
And that got me thinking, Boy can that be true.
Thinking back, I was born in a land of ponds, rains and rivers. Calcutta! So how can I ever break myself away from water? I lived there for the most carefree part of my life and grew into whatever I am today. My tone and personality was shaped and no wonder grey is my favorite color, don’t those cloud look in various shades of grey when it is about to rain.
Thinking back of incidents, it reminds me of the day when I wrote my first poem and I was 8 years old, I was walking down muddy road right after rain slowly , to make sure I do not slip and fall ( that I am prone to). I encountered a crab that cracked open and numerous tiny crabs came out of her belly. The memory is so fresh in my mind, even the fragrance of wet soil.
Followed by times, when I used to love walking on grass in our backyard right after rain. Look at trees, leaves and flowers washed off clean. No! I never liked jumping in those puddles, I preferred the serenity. While I let my boys jump in those whenever and wherever they possibly can.
Rain, oh how I love rains…Let it rain…Let is rain..

Aapko aunty chahiye??

Don’t be too shocked at the title, this is the first line I heard at least 55 times I picked up my cell phone after posting the Ad for babysitter on sulekha.com.
Yes, It s 6 months now that I started working again after about 8 month of break at home. I work for a mid-size pharmaceutical company in Edison, which is about 3 miles from my home and a compelling reason to start working again.
When I started, I had a friend’s mom who offered to provide babysitting and it worked out well for 4 months. He got the love and affection of grand parents and care of being at home. Nothing could have been better than that. As nothing lasts forever, they had to go back home to India and I started looking for a babysitter. We were not considering day care at all with approaching winter followed by viral attacks especially on younger kids. My other option was to get any baby sitter and request my MIL to come. So I start spreading words to mouth, I talk with many of my friends; neighbors try to get referrals to no avail. Finally as many suggest, I post an ad on sulekha a month before I really need someone to start. That’s when it starts to pour in.
I started getting calls and emails left and right. Initially I started talking and asking question but after few calls. I knew the exact questions I need to ask and if they work only then I will meet the babysitter.
I got calls from all kind of babysitters from various part of India in all age ranges. Some couldn’t work with my schedule; some did not fit in budget and most wanted to be stay-home –nanny which was unacceptable with me. There were many who couldn’t speak either Hindi or English and suggested I still hire them and communicate via their daughter/son who replied to my posting. Err…
After talking to 90ish callers, sorting 50ish emails and meeting 3ish baby sitter I found Naina Aunty. She is a very kind and caring babysitter with a passion for cooking and feeding. She was glad that I will drop her off in evening while her son brings her to in morning. She has no problem with staying late as and when needed (though she gets late in morning mostly, I can understand and will live with that) which outweighs the care and affection she showers on my kids. She deals with my 6 year olds tantrums (I might want to add that she was locked out by him on her first week at work) and cooks amazingly tasty food for us and the kids. Initially I went home during lunch, sometimes unannounced only to find her busy with various things or the baby. She takes him out to parks weather permits, advises me various home remedies, sometimes bring lunch from home for me, follows me for grocery and sometimes reminds me of my mom.
The bottom line is , when I leave home in morning with a peace of mind that my child is in good safe hand , I look at the mirror while adjusting them I smile remembering “ Aapko Aunty chahiye”.

गए होंगे मथुरा नगरपति गोकुल, किसी अंधियारी रात में
सुनसान तट पर, खोजने किसी को
किसने देखा और किसने जाना
सबने सुने हैं राधा के प्रेम के किस्से
पन्ने रंगे हैं , बनी अनगिनत तस्वीरे
हुयी रासलीला, और नटखट प्रसंगे
मगर बड़े इत्मिनान से, देकर दुहाई कर्मो की
ताज पहन सर पर, छोड़ बंसरी व्रिज की
चले गए थे तुम, मुड़कर देखा जो होगा
किसने देखा और किसने जाना
राधा बिचारी रही वही पर वही की
बैठी भी डोली वो थी किसी और की
राह हर पल तुम्हारी देखी तो होगी
वचन भी लिया होगा, किसी भी मोड़ पर
हाथ जो तुमने थामा, चल दूंगी सब छोड़ कर
इन छोटी सी बातो में रखा ही क्या था
तुम्हे थो बनानी थी महाभारत
द्वारका तुम्हारी और रुक्मिणी तुम्हारी
जब सब थे प्रभो, तुम्हारी इच्छा से
क्या नहीं होती तुम्हारी कहानी बिना उसके विरह के
हाँ, प्रेम कहते हो की तुम्हे भी था
किसने देखा और किसने जाना

ठेहेरा नहीं कुछ और
फिसलते लम्हों के साथ
बढ़ते ही गए फासले
जाते समय के साथ
धुंधली होती गयी परछाई
दीखता भी नहीं कुछ साफ़
मन में कही इक आवाज
लगती है आती वही कही से
सुनाई जो देती है अब भी साफ़
की वक़्त के दायरों से आजाद
भी होती है कुछ ऐसी बात
रह जाती है जो बस साथ
देती रहेती है जो उम्मीद
जीने की और मिलने की आश

उलझने ही उलझने दी हमको प्यार ने तुम्हारी
पर अब हो चली है मन को इनकी ऐसी आदत
की न हो गर तो सूनापन घिरता है बदलो स
और अज्न्जान सा लगता है मुझे ही मेरा मन

Mommy Eyes

My son had this habit of thumb sucking. It started as early as about 7 months and my efforts to curb started at almost the same time, but it took over 4 years and various tricks. Starting from putting sock on followed by applications of garlic/ginger/bitter guard and clove oils. They all failed, obviously. Finally it was during a trip to India while we also used this oil named Mavala STOP, which was terribly bitter and lasted for days once applied. Or maybe he just grew out of it under the impression that he is going to start Kindergarten soon and might get teased.
Besides the tricks mentioned above, I also told my son that I have mommy eyes and I can see him from anywhere I am. No matter how far or where is he, I can see him so he better not duck himself and suck his thumb assuming I am not aware. Well he is way too smart to agree to that, but I am smarter. I gathered information from around his day care and teachers and proved to him that I can see him. Sometimes I just made guesses which turned out to be true. He made me go through various tests and verification before he established the idea. Sometime he would make up things and say he did that just to confuse me. Those were done with such preciseness that I would actually buy that sometime. After many encounters, random enquiries and endless questionnaires he was finally convinced that I could see him and hear him (also hear people around him). He believes mommy’s eye is somewhere within her heart which is not entirely wrong either.
Now that the habit is gone with all other things, he is still convinced. Though he still throws queries just to make sure from time-to-time.
For instance , did you see me swim today?
“Of course! And you bumped into a kid while doing backstroke.
Yes, Who did I bump into.
Well I cant see that, I am not his mommy you know.
Right!
And by the way, you need to improve on that, keep practicing - dint your teacher say that?
He will nod and walk away feeling helpless that there is no way after all that he can get away from mommy eyes.

The Lonely Heron

The Lonely Heron
Originally uploaded by prabhaJha

A Lonely Heron

Flawless as white
I was flying high
Spreading my wings
The king of the sky

Not for too long
As the hunger surround
A patch of water and green
Brought me back to the ground

Here I am, standing up on one foot
Waiting for that catch
Endless day it seems today
As empty flowing waters, I watch

The Japanese Wife

A Bengali movie I watched last night.
My husband insisted that we watch this movie as it had good reviews and looked promising, unaware of the fact that it was in Bengali-the language close to me and he hardly understands. Obviously, he dozed off after about 40 minutes while I watched on till midnight.
It was a beautiful movie, nothing unusual sort and not something that hasn’t been done before. All the actors did excellent job, Mousami chatterji and Rahul Bose were just spectacular.
In the beginning , it felt like one of Satyajit Ray movies. The river, boats, muddy streets, rains and typical mud houses of far off villages in Bengal.
It was a simple yet unusual love story of a Bengali elementary school teacher and a Japanese girl in Japan. Who are both introverts and take solace in writing letters to people across globe. They find themselves as soul mates but due to all practical reason are unable to cross the boarders and physically meet each other.
They get married via letters, which was very sweet though unrealistic. And stay married for 17 years and forever. Events follow, complexities appear and you must watch the movie to unfold those.
Must see if you can decipher Bengali.

Memories of Memorial Day weekends

The weekend started early Friday while making batches of idlis and chutney to take with us for the 3 night get away vacation we planned with 2 other friends. The location was Bethany Beach in Delaware.
As we stepped down after 4 hours drive all I wanted to do was have a cup of coffee. We drove non-stop for the whole stretch. We couldn’t locate any Dunkin Donut or McDonald in the last stretch of hour and so I was in a caffeine-free and energy-free state. There was a coffee maker but no coffee in the four story, five bedroom, 4 baths and 7 beds (includes 2 bunk bed) townhouse we were renting. We drop the stuff and head to the beach only to be hit by a mild disappointment with Bahamas Blue (rather Turquoise) still fresh in the memories. Pratyush loved the water, he is not as judgmental as we are or may be he is more practical and realizes what he is going for better. He gets his cloth wet as he always does when left around water, be it a hose, sea or the sink.
We head to the Tanger outlet mall for some serious shopping only to return and wait little longer for our friends to join us. Everything is history after that. We had 3 fun-filled days by the ocean. 4 kids, 2 babies and 6 adults in total. 3 of us (girls) sang 100s of old Hindi songs in high pitch and high volume while walking on the sea shore. We looked at the moons reflection in the ocean, crashed to the waves and my fiend managed to be caught in a fishing pole, no kidding – she did. I played cards after a very long time and enjoyed.
It was a fun filled vacation that we will remember for long time, till we do it again.

Eternally yours

I love thee, with all my heart
But thee, does not love me back
I crave to cradle in those arms
But thee devours another charm
I lay awake every night

Trying to figure what goes on in his mind
Fail as I always do
One reason I present contradicts another
Going in circles I am, Is what I gather
False hopes I give myself in a way to deceive my mind
Ignorant of the fact
Thee is hiding and playing tricks right inside

Little chit chat

A very busy but relaxing weekend was the last one.

Yesterday was cloudy day and we were having lunch with other 5 families in the afternoon. The lunch was arranged to meet and greet a friends relative (sister to be precise) visiting from India. They were taking a month long vacation with college going daughter and a preteen boy in NY vicinity. They had just returned after spending a week in Miami and florida(Disney world).

So somebody asked me “what is going on”.

I answer “A lot”.
I believe my audience was expecting a low “nothing much” and I love to give surprises and reason for people to ask more.

That’s where a close friend of mine jumps in saying how much is going on in my life and I am still not satisfied with my life which is so true. Only a real friend will know, and as it is a truth I do not have to defend myself and I ask “Shouldn’t we all be aspiring for more in life”.

I reply "The day I am satisfied, I will be dead"

After all, we have one life to live and what is wrong in wanting to have it all. If you know me then you know that I am ambitious and I work hard towards getting most from life. The most precious thing to me is my time. Because that is something, once lost can never be earned back and I believe in spending my time on things that I care most about.

So a very eventful weekend was well spent on attending a S atynarain puja-cum-birthday, a farewell-cum-graduation to very close friend, lunch with visitors from India and another dinner with neighbor-cum-friend-cum-family.
Oh did I mention the art lesson, which is the most magical 1 hour of my week. I take pride in welcoming a new member in the Tulika gang, a 6 year old girl from Edison.

When I lost the access card

Well, I never lost an access card before; I still have the one from Tata Steel building in Calcutta. I still have the access card for RE/MAX office and the Citi ID card. Now, here I am 2 weeks old at Daiichi Sankyo which consists of only 8 working days and I have lost the access card twice. I spent 20 minutes of my precious morning hour looking for it. I was hoping it is hanging to one of my clothes or I might have dropped it on the closet floor but no luck. I searched the car and finally I was certain it is on my desk. Only to get to the office and there is no sign of my access card. The worst fear for me was to face the receptionist who shakes he head in degust every time I request her to buzz me in. I wonder how hard that can be. She is the most unfriendly receptionist I have known my life, don’t they provide them any training or something to give people better treatment, or she saves them only for chosen ones.
After sitting on my desk for straight 2 hours I decide to go and ask her for another temporary card the Third one. Damn it – I need to have access card to return to my desk if I step to use ladies room. Thank god, there is no access card needs for kitchen and I did have my coffee. Without which I couldn’t have gotten the guts I needed to go and talk to her. Don’t underestimate; it takes a hell lot of guts. Well as she makes it, she discovers she already gave me temporary card earlier and informs me that. Well I tell her “ I know, I lost that too “. Now she gives me a long look, I hear “What the hell is wrong with you” and “Get out of my sight and never return”. Well I stay, I need that card. I am hopeless that I will find it by Monday even if I survive the day glued to my desk today. She gives me a card after another long look and sigh. She tell me a name (I can’t recall – I was scared as hell as if I have committed a horrific crime though I kept telling myself it is not a crime. My opening line is a justification of the same).
She warns me that I better return it to her. Then only then I see a pile of clip on that she attaches to when gives access card to other people except me. She never gave me one of those and I do not dare to ask. I have the one I saved from my last job. I return to my desk, detach Citi and attach Daiichi Temp Card (that suits me better) swear I am never going to lose it again and settle on my desk.
Please pray for me, My only hope to find my dignity back is to find those cards back. I can not wait for the moment when I will go to her and slap down the temp cards she had been giving me with those looks. I bet I will return those stares back as well.
Now, let’s get to the real reason for needing the card desperately. I am volunteering in the June bug festival in Metuchen. Well, It is an art festival during June when every Friday evening the downtown lits up with music, paintings, cuisine and what not. It is like walking in dream. I am volunteering to host the chalk walk, where I will be sitting with boxes of chalk and assist kids/adults in drawing Metuchen sidewalks. I do that anyway in front of my house almost every day. In order to do that, I must pick up my T-shirt today between 10 AM – 2 PM and that required that lunch hour when I must leave the building and get it. Now you know why I went out of the way to get that card.
As I have it now, and I do not have any pressing thing to take care of I cannot wait….

Review: life of Pi

While I was at Bahamas, our friend mentioned about the book “Life of Pi” right after their jet-ski boat flipped over. I was keen on reading the book, so we ordered it right away. It is a book everybody should read. I gave the book to 14 years old and he liked it.
The book is about an Indian boy surviving 7 months on a life boat in Pacific Ocean with a tiger. There is lot more; the book is full of surprises that never seem to end. The details are somehow gruesome in between but I believe those are the author’s requirement to make the story visual. It was one of a kind story and definitely recommended.

Pratyush and his imagination month painting

May 2010/ Prabha
Originally uploaded by prabhaJha

In my art classes I set a theme for every month. May is imagination month where kids are making up things from their mind and choosing medium of their choice. this is Pratyush's rain forest - compared to one he did in November 2009 this one shows a lot more details and colors.
Good going son.

Om Shanti Om

Om - May 2010/ Prabha
Originally uploaded by prabhaJha

In process to find peace and my spiritual self...I visited Art of Living center once again this saturday for bhajan and then painted this sunday morning.

Few things that never change.

Today as I looked at myself in the restroom mirror of my office, as I was washing hands. I noticed I was dressed in all grey starting from my earrings. All different shades though; it was grey blazer, darker skirt and lighter shirt…except for the black shoe. I felt immediately in control. I felt better and it reminded me about things that never change. My 6 year old must have asked me 1000 times about my favorite color and it is the same. (he is still hoping I will say pink someday-not that I hate it but grey is just unbeatable).
I like grey; I have always liked the grey color. The reason, I really do not know. Sometimes I feel it is the color of Cement and steel which matches my solid traditional personality may be. Not sure-maybe a close friend can comment better on that.
No wonder my husband bought me a grey saree as wedding saree , which is traditionally red or yellow. It is my favorite one, after 8 years.
So, on the note to talking about things that do not really change is also my love for books, though it started with a book I received as birthday present sometime in last century. It was “Doctors” by Eric Segal and my love for reading and books started. I have been reading since then and still it gives me tremendous pleasure that I can put everything else on hold and read.
Now, moving on to people. I have had many friends in past who moved as I moved and then we lost touch. We did spend some wonderful time together, created timeless memories .But bond got thinner as Geography changed, feelings faded. There are some that stayed the same. One of them is my relationship with my brother, dada. I feel the same way I felt when I talked to him right after my 10 board examination. It is strange but the great sense of relief and I get when I am talking to him is something that does not occur otherwise. I feel really heard, no matter even if it was 3 months since I last talked to him. When I talk to him next, it will be exact same way. No matter how many complains my mind is building up, no matter how many issues are bothering me if he is on the other side of the phone or sitting on the chair against me, they vaporizes. Something he said to me more than decade ago became my fundamental of life. He said “stop thinking about problem and start working on the solution”. Due to this, I can never stay occupied with my problem for too long and get in action to resolve it. Everytime I have talked to him, either he had shown me a direction or made me realize how little the problem was. The answer might be inside me, but he helps me get it out on surface.
on that note, I want to wish him a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY!

And that’s another thing, that hasn’t changed since I recall.
What is yours?

Kisi roz kahin par
Jab tumko paya tha tab khud ko paya tha
Kuch pal aur kuch ghadee ke liye hi
Mahsus huyi thi, is dil ko chahat
Tumhe chaahato ki thi, khud se muhabbat
Khokhli ummide aur swaarth ki doriyaan
Swapan marichika aur samajo ki bediyaa
Baandh Ankho pe patti
Kar ansuni atma ki wedna
Khoya bhi maine khud ko
Wahi par kahi tha.

On Diet

It was around Thanksgiving of 2009 that I took oath to lose my baby weight. I set a target for myself to lose 12 Lbs in 6 weeks. Well being as competitive as I am, I lost 14 lbs of it. This resulted in fitting into old jeans and many T-shirts which were hidden in the darkest corners of my closet. (Not to mention I put 6 lbs back on by the end of March).
That is the diet people usually talk about, well mostly talk about. Especially on weekends when you meet up with friends and sit around the dining table or look at that skinny girl dancing on the big screen. We just find excuses to talk about that diet. With obesity as an epidemic, there are 100s of diet program which help you lose weight. Promise you to get your life back on track, save marriages, prevent cancer and what not. During the day time, when I try to catch some breaking news I surf through at least 27 channels talking about various diet or exercise program. And that’s not something I wish to talk about here today as I leave it to the specialist. There is lot of expertise around who can advise you better on the dieting, I warn you that I am last person you should listen if you are trying to lose weight via a diet program.
Physical diet is an area which has created a huge commercial impact on the society and food industry. What bothers me is that there is a mental, social and emotional diet we put ourselves on now and then which no body seem to talk about. Or sometimes we might need to put ourselves on.
I will start with someone close to me, who does not socialize just because he/she is requested to. For instance, he/she will sit on a friend invitation/request on FB or LinkedIn for weeks (even months). He/she needs to consider all the filters before bringing the relationship to the next level. I consider them to be the people who follow very strict diet at social level. They deprive themselves of indulgence and feel guilty if they lose it sometime and end up in a party for which they did not think 200 times before attending. To me, they are somewhat close to anorexic (if not exactly).
I bet you have met someone who instantly after meeting with you take down your phone , Email address, planned movie, dinner, BBQ as well as a book club and then disappear from the picture for months (sometimes forever-till bump into again). They are some who indulge into socialize for once in while. Take the full scoop and move on to stick with own diet program.
Finally there are some with 678 connections on FB and whose updates fill most of your homepage (believe me it is a good idea to shut it off). The social obese who will just take anybody or everybody for connection and on top maintain it. But here is the good news; it has no unhealthy side affect (that we might be aware of) and brings a healthy side to them.
Talking about us, people who live far away from home with mostly one way travel option to meet with family. What I mean is, we can go visit our family as it is convenient but it’s close to impossible for them to visit us as they wish (unless we are some lucky people).The family relations and the ties, are also kept on a diet. One call a week to family, one month a call to that friend/cousin, and there are some you call only on occasions such as New year, Diwali, etc etc… We do tend to indulge sometimes when something is happening or changing in the life but there is some standard diet we have created around our relationships that we tend to follow throughout.
How much love or care we are about to share is also stipulated. If I have already baked a cake, brought some flowers and a gift, I tend to skip on cooking the dinner or I am serving a calorie laden diet to the partner which is artery clogging for the love relationship. Might choke the flow from one side-after all it got to flow both ways. People create their own diet programs for healthy relationship within or outside the family. When they fail to do so, there is a partner always complaining about how much her/his efforts are going is vain without appreciation while the obese partner is wondering what is he/she is doing wrong that is missing the balance.
On the spiritual diet, we all set some program of visiting temple, how much time to spend, how much chanting everyday is good for us or if we are trying to improve on it . How hard it is to stick to the new diet program which requires more going an extra mile.

When it comes to having a healthy diet, balance is the key. This applies to life as well. So in a nutshell, no matter what you are trying to do in life - woo your partner, win a friend, find a soul mate, discipline your child, get successful in career or lose weight. Find the right balance for yourself. Create a diet program that is custom for you and work just for you and stick to it-no matter how hard it is. A little indulgence now and then is forgivable but cheating is suicidal. I am always here, if you require a little guidance or assistance.

Aaj Sakale Sakaale , daadiye janlaar dhaare
dekhlaam neeche, choti pore - niye haathe cha
Taktak kare, takiye aamar deeke
se ki tumi chile?

वो दिया हू मै
जिसे दिन मे जलाया
सुरज को दिखाया गया
जला भी , बुझा भी
हो कर के खाक भी
बस रह गया मै बन के मजाक
कि मैने रोशनी भी नही की

Random Ranting.

Today is a perfect day to just rant about things.
It is bright and sunny morning while it was quite cloudy yesterday. To me, things are blurred then ever.
Ok - how does it sound like when the father of your children leaves house for the day in crisp white shirt, black suit and blue tie (I know people expected red - no that’s too bold for him), holding a toasted bagel in one hand the laptop bag in other. At the door he says good bye saying “Be calm and be good". Should that reduce me to the wild 6 year old creature sleeping hopelessly in his captain bed and dreaming about all the DSi games he is going to own?
Or, should it bring smile to my face thinking, how thoughtful and caring the comment is and I must follow through...Deep breath...another one and sit in Padmasan with eyes closed and keep the posture for the rest of the day because it has been advised to me?

The next thing that bothers me today is people keeping 2 last names in their names. It makes me feel as if they are not sure which one belongs to them or suits them better and they can not make up their minds. Those 2 last names jingle like bells around bull’s neck for the rest of their lives (no offence intended). Its clamoring sound, I wish it were pleasant - to me it isn’t. I mean, what kind of people can not be sure of considering a last name. I wonder about their decision making skills.

Right after the last word of the above sentence, My 13 month old wakes up crying hysterically on his crib. As I get there is gives me a pathetic look "What kind of mother you are to make me sleep on this crammed island hanging in the air and then keeping me deprived from milk for whole 3 hours and 45 minutes". Well I give him the milk and try to change his diaper. I shove the blanket up to his belly which reminds me of my C-section. I was lying numb with the blue curtain hanging up on my belly. Well right then my little devil teaches me a lesson and as I fold the dirty diaper and unfold clean diaper he does it. Now I must change his PJ’s, blanket and crib sheet as well. While he can enjoy his milk and rest of nap on my bed. To him that is a bed where people sleep, not this wooden cage where he wakes up every morning. God knows when they do that I sleep on that bed every single night and then get up here, it is nightmarish!!
It is almost eight and I have to face the biggest challenge of the day. Wake up the 6 year old. I try different tricks every day, some days I just barge in room with raised voice. Tell him the time and count to 3 to get him out of bed and in the bathroom. It does not work everyday and some days it backfires. So I save it for those days when I have no other choice. Most of the days I massage him, tickle him, tell him a joke or two (even better) ask him to tell me a joke or two, ask him about his dream from last night and voila! He gets up like the bright sun today.
I hope today is that day!

Back from The Dream..After visitng Warm place and warm people of Bahamas

Today morning I woke up and started unpacking. I emptied my purse and the backpack which doubled as diaper bag for my 1 year old- It poured out some white sand. This sand had travelled with me from the Islands of Bahamas. I felt the sand and lingered at the moments I spent in Paradise Island. No wonder those are considered the "World's best Beaches". Friends believe me! If you have not seen Caribbean, you have not seen ocean.
It was just another evening when my husband got home, tired of a day long working day (the NY working day – especially with office on Wall Street) and suggested that we take a vacation. I had no clue, he would suggest Bahamas. He spoke to another friend of his who (Equally tired and frustrated with long day) agreed to come with us right away.
We planned for almost a month for the trip. It started with a trip to library and getting books on places to see at Bahamas. Well all I did was looking at pictures and some basic facts about the country. We took a 3 bedroom townhouse on the Paradise Island with a swimming pool. We shopped for flip flops, cloth for beach, sun glasses and other knick knacks. We also packed some food to make our stay easier in a foreign country (USA is home now).
After spending a whole day at my friend’s salon I was all set.
We boarded the flight from Newark International airport, still wearing shoes and jackets. The 3 hours long flight seemed too long with rising excitement and lack of food. They served only burgers with beef patties and 3 of us (yes including my 6 year old) ended up eating a bowl of lettuce for lunch. While we had it with the dressing, Pratyush fed himself (for the first time in life) with ketchup.
We flocked to the windows when it started to descend; the color of ocean was just outstanding. Long empty natural and turquoise beaches were as far as we could see. Warm air and warm people welcomed us into Bahamas. The taxi took us to our condo at “Living in Paradise” complex. On our way we saw roads lined with banana, palm, hibiscus and coconut trees all around. Though it is left side driving, there were the right side cars as well in almost equal number. After the busy streets in Nassau downtown the taxi rolled onto the bridge to Paradise Island. On the other side of bridge we witnessed breathtaking resorts of Atlantis, giant cruises, multiple ferries and brightly colored houses.
My 6 year old kept saying how much it felt, looked and smelled like India.
After dropping off the luggage we got changed and started to look for the beach which was a short walk away. Pratyush rolled himself on the sand as soon as he could. Wish I could do that too but it was almost evening and we were not prepared for it. Our friends joined us in the evening as they were in another flight which arrived few hours later.
The next whole day was spent at the Cabbage beach which included massage for adults and a Jet Ski ride on the waves. My little one kept searching for rocks under crystal clear water and I bet he tasted few morsels of sand as well. Our friends Jet Ski boat flipped over and while they were saved by the divers, they had a dangerous experience. Their 8 year old boy was also with them and he swore he is not getting on it again.
After tanning, and relaxing we returned only to plunge in the pool until sunset.
Next day we took the ferry to Blue Lagoon Island. Every second on the ferry, we were mesmerized by the changing color of water and the magnificent resorts and boats by the ocean. It was hard to take eyes off and also hard to decide what to look at.
The lagoon had calm waters which was clear as glass. Stretched across an island with maximum depth of 6 feet, it was walkble across the lagoon. Water was comparably warmer as well. Kids enjoyed a canoe and water bike ride on it as we relaxed on the hammocks under coconut tree. The day went by in a wink giving us memories for life time. Various kinds of fishes swam in group of hundreds around our feet as we soaked ourselves.
As we returned we planned for a daring adventure underwater for next day. As it was not allowed for kids our friends and we decided to go for it in two shifts. Our friends left in morning leaving the kids with us. We packed at 11:30 AM with kids to board a bus going to Stuart’s Cove located at an end of New Providence Island. It took us almost an hour to get there on the bus. We exchanged the kids who headed to spend rest of day at another beach and downtown. Now it was just 2 of us for next 4 hours of expedition. We were given some training on going under water by one of the trained divers. Later we also found that Akshay Kumar and others used the same boat when they were shooting for the movie Blue. Their team stayed there for 6 months while shooting and it was the same guy training them. We wore wetsuits to keep us warm underwater (hoped it will also protect us from Shark teeth if attacked). The ferry carried us (a group of 11) in middle of the ocean for almost 45 minutes. I asked the divers about changing colors and he informed the dark ocean means a cliff underwater which can be anywhere between 6000ft-9000ft deep. The brown green water meant Coral reefs and blue turquoise water meant shallow waters at various depths.
We were put on an individual sub, which is like a small seat with a bubble to accommodate our head inside. It was connected to an oxygen tank attached with our seats. We were trained to communicate in signs. I felt loss of breath as they lowered us and also as it my ears will burst at the next moment. I asked them to bring me out, which they fortunately did not and gave instructions to equalize ears. I followed as the lowered me further down, I was the last one to get under water. What I witnessed was another world. Fishes flocked to our masks in varying sizes and colors. I felt like an invader into their territory. I thought it was a dream until I touched them. The colorful reefs under my feet are beyond words for description. I am really at loss of words….
We saw sharks swimming by us within 10 feet; they were at least 5-6 feet long. They were not bothered by us as long as we did not bother them or may be they were just full.
As we climbed off after 30 minutes underwater, it was hard to believe what we saw was real. I felt completely sea sick and swore I am never going on a cruise trip.
This experience is just surreal and unbelievable that we came that close to shark which could have swallowed any of us in a fraction of second. As the ferry left for island, we saw large stingrays and bunch of sharks chasing behind. Guess it was just a game.
Underwater I came across face to face to a white fish and as it turned, I saw a clear “Aum” written in black under its eye. I wondered if that was a sign.
I kept thinking about it and I still wonder, as I can only wonder.

I can not really describe the experiences in words as It will need too many of them, so I will wrap it here.
Just to mention - that we rented and rode a motor bike. I screamed my lungs out as we crossed the bridge. Spent a day in magnificent Atlantis water resort, park and world’s largest aquarium. We also thanked god that we did not stay there for the whole trip or we could have missed to see real Bahamas. We had coconut water and chikoo (which is not available in USA). We did some shopping for souvenirs at world famous straw market. We visited the Cloisters, got braiding done.
We took tons of pictures that we will upload soon. Precisely it was the best place I had ever been to and is highly recommendable.
With emotions overwhelming and heavy heart we all boarded our plane back home.
My friend truly said that these memories are all that we will keep in our hearts and no one can take from us.

Film Review

It is a "Not-so-New" Hindi movie, that I watched night before last night. Love aaj Kal, starring Saif Ali Khan and Deepika Padukone. My boys (yes both of them) love the songs form the movie, they were big hits at the New year's Eve Party and still soothes my cranky one year old in the car.
The movie has a fresh feel to it and the humor was also likeable. The way 2 stories are woven together from 2 generations is also something new. I liked everything about the movie except how they treat the bond of marriage. The bride(Deepika) realizes after 3-4 days of marriage (may be on her honeymoon) that she has made a wrong decision in not marrying Saif but somebody else and decides to separate and wait for him till he realizes his love for Deepika and return. That was ridiculous to me. They call the marriage off as f it was another part of courtship. After 2 years of dating you marry someone just to call it off because you feel like talking/seeing your Ex boyfriend who has moved (at least for now) to pursue his dreams. Marriage is a sacred ritual and a commitment for life in Hindu culture and not just an agreement on paper. Except for that part, the movie was a wonderful effort to exploring human emotions in the current generation.
It is a must see - Catch it!

Time is the Essence...yes it is.

Yes I do have a lot to say.
Today morning on facebook I set my status that "I can not afford to lose a fraction of second" and many of my really busy , some working well-wishers got alarmed.
Flashback, It was a fine morning yesterday as it is today. After tending to baby, dropping off my 6 year oldto school with lunch (homemade obviously) ,preparing fresh soup for myself, talking to my mom in India for good 30 minutes+, arrange for dinner plan and some laundry I still had some time to call a friend of mine. She also has a baby who was not well and I wished to inquire about her health.
After few minutes I invited her to come and share some soup with me for lunch, she reminded me that she is quite busy and has a lot to take care of. And added "How come I have so much time" (to call her or other friends of mine and ...well I tried to explain and finally gave up thinking - I don't need to explain. Well in time to pick up my son and his piano lesson - I picked up another friend and went to park with 3 kids in tow. While watching them swing and slide giggling happily in sunny spring morning, my mind kept wondering if I really have too much time. We also stopped by for some groceries. We came back home had coffee and dropped her back. After return I sat down with my 6 year old to get homework done and rest of things, I bet homemakers are familiar with.
I found that I was not slacking on any of my motherly responsibilities or enjoying time by myself. Neither was there any compromise on social life.
So, here is the thing.
Yes, i do things a lot faster that usual and being a list maniac I am always on top of my chores. Staying connected to my friends and family is also a part of it and I can not afford to slack there either. After all they are all I have and It gives me immense pleasure to talk to them and spend time as life permits.
Well, I am glad to confront myself today after being puzzled whole day yesterday.
I do and will always have time for people I care about.
Did I add that yesterday I also stopped at account to drop off my tax papers and after grocery made a stop to Mac D....The fruit parfait there is what I always recommend and love.
Enjoy the spring...Tomorrow I plan for a picnic, and wish you join us.

Vardaan

Prabho yah tumhara vardaan hota
Jihwa agar mujhko di hi na hoti
kalam meri likhti panno pe panne
aur meri tulika rangati kahani
dekhte unko aur padhti wo aankhe
samjhti jo bhasha mere hriday ki
aur baki nazare, unpar thithak kar
guzar hi jo jati karke, andekha
tho accha hota, kam se kam
mujhe fark samjh me hi aata
kisne hai samjha aur kisne na jana
prabho yah tumhara vardaan hoga
kahu main sabhi kuch
Ab kalam se , tulika se.

Praaket turns one.

Can not believe it is already a year, and my baby is celebrating his first birthday already.
Past few weeks had been harsh weatherwise. While Chile and Haiti shook with earthquakes - It never stopped snowing on East Coast USA. Finally the sun is out and we are hoping for spring.
Basant...Basant aata nahi, bulaya jaata hai.

नदी

ऐसी नदी हू मैं
जो सीचे कांटो कुशो को
बीहड के खलिहानो को
दूर किसी कोने मे धरती के
गिरू पहाडो से मैं करती गरजन तरजन
धरसायी करती चटटानो को मैं
बहू वेग मे
कोमल और सुरिलि धारा करती कल कल
मैं नही जानती
उद्दनड जानवर भागे कुदे कुचलते मेरे सीने पर
सापो और विहनगो को मैं दू जीवन धारा
ऐसी एक नदी
एक निरझर की
मैं बहू और कोयि सिने नहि
जने नहि कि कहा बही और कहा गयी
बस जाने मुझको वो कांटे और वो सर्प
जो और कुच नहि जानती
मैं उनको और वे मुझको
अपने ही अनधियारो मे

Back Home - From Home....

Bon Voyage

So here it is, Tomorrow afternoon I finally catch the flight to India. All bags are packed, shopping is done and Durga Puja has begin today. It will be a lie if I say I am all happy and just happy about this trip. My older one has been counting hours and minutes for leaving to India. He is tremendously excited about seeing all the cousins and nani Ma again. He is also planning on tons of shopping he will get done by others, for himself.
I am apprehensive with Praket getting his first cold, Me diagnosed with Lyme disease ( people blame it on my gardening), High colesterol ( Dr. is not bothered as this is only 6 months after child birth) and low Vitamin D (with all the rains in recent month- I bet it is same with everybody).
I am worried about travelling and I am happy - peaceful for going home even if it is for a short while.
Home Sweet Home...

His First Day - mine Last

090809
Originally uploaded by prabhaJha

Pratyush's First day at Kindergarten it is and it is also my last day here at Citi.
I will miss the trains, getting up early and .....See I can not recall them already.
I can not wait to be with my boys full time. Do not really have a lot to say here, with plans of India trip and festivals approaching - I say goodbye to my colleagues and corporate world.

पहचान मेरी क्या?

Woman in the mirror
Originally uploaded by poisonapple2005

पहचान मेरी क्या?
आईने मे उभरता एक चेहेरा
कुछ जाना पहचाना सा
है कौन? किसे पता
परछाई जैसे मेरी, है वही आकार
जैसे एक छलावा, ये मैं तो नही
कोशिशे मेरी सारी बेकार
पहचानने की खुद को
बंद आँखो से मैं देखती हूँ स्वयं को कुछ और
कठोर सच और परिस्थिति, दिखाती है कुछ और
उलझी उलझन, मेरे मन की है अनबन
किस चहेरे को अपना समझू
और किसे छोड़ू मंझधार

praket

praket
Originally uploaded by prabhaJha

चारो दिशाए, उझलति रोशनी
पलके मेरी अभी तक उनीदी
बढ़ाकर हाथ, छूता मुझे
तेरा कोमल शरीर
कहती कितनी ही बाते
भाषा अपनी तेरी
सपनो को छोड पीछे
भर के बाहो मे तुझको मैं होती आकेत
आज भी और आजीवन्, प्रिय प्राकेत

Originally uploaded by whiteperfumeonly

तुमसे कोई भला कैसे नाराज़ कही हो सकता है
पास आकर तुम्हारे, तुमको खोने का एहसास होता है
गहेरे पानी की झील से तुम, बिन ल़हेरो के, शांत रहे
मैने जाने कितनी कोशिश की, कितने ही पथथर फेंके
क्यू सूनापन , क्यू इतनी उदासी फिर मुझको घेरे है
मैने खुद ही ये राह चुनी, कहने को रस्ते बहुतेरे थे
मैं हाथ जोड़, गिर कदमो पर तेरे - अधिकार नही कुछ माँग सकू
तकदीर मेरी बस इतनी है, अंतिम छणतक तेरी ही बाट तकु

Praket - Intelligence

Praket - Intelligence
Originally uploaded by prabhaJha

Praket is on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/user/mithilaart

This is from over a months back, when he started rolling over.
Time is flying.

I know you

GA National Fair - Man at cafeteria
Originally uploaded by idyllopus

I ventured the cafeteria on my own, again. It was 5th time since Alta left. I just prefer to bring from home than going alone. Everything looked as awful, as it mostly does. Since I must get something to relieve my hunger, I picked some rice and asparagus. As I headed to the cashier I realized I was not carrying my wallet for the first time ever. For a moment I thought I would just leave the food there somewhere and head out, which seemed selfish as I would waste the food like that.
Confused, I thought of giving it a shot with Val.
I walked up with my food, after making sure no one was behind me in the ear shot. I asked her if she could keep my food until I come back with my card. She charged and asked me to bring the money later may be tomorrow.
I asked her if she will give me a receipt so she can remember how much it was. She was too late for the receipt and I was unsure how is she ever going to know how much did I owe.
I asked “How will you know, how much was it?”
Val looked straight in my eyes, with one of her look “I know you”.

If it wasn’t for Alta, I wouldn’t have known her name. As I walked out with my food, I wondered isn’t what happiness is all about. These little humane interactions and sharing things make things better and easier for others. Makes this world a better place to live. A simple smile uplifts the grey clouds. These little acts of understanding and care confirm that our lives are not meaningless. In fact this is what actually matters, the most.

Caster Semenya (right)

Furore South African athlete Caster Semenya (right) has been placed under the international spotlight after reports claiming that she is to face a gender probe.
Originally uploaded by Pan-African News Wire File Photos

Then Santhi now Semenya

I believe by this time, half of the world (if not more) is aware of the story on the yahoo front page. That the world-champion South African runner is subjected to gender test amid concerns that she may not qualify as female.
What on earth does it mean?
I googled and landed on Santhi’s story. What struck me worst was the fact that she hails from India and that too a very poor family. As far as my experiences go it is highly unlikely that she might have gone through some surgical procedure intended to alter her gender and succeed in the race. In our country, we do not encourage sports as much anyways and that too for somebody who is born a girl.
I searched more, but I could not find a solid explanation for why she might have failed the test and not others. Isn’t it an paradox that Men can not be subjected to any gender test while women can?
And also, why do these tests come up only after somebody from farthest corners of the word, raised in the poorest poverty wins the world championship. If they are failed by a gamut of *gists , they are stripped of the medal and thrown to live or die (Santhi did attempt suicide) in social humiliation. It is beyond my imagination, what Santhi might have had to face after returning home, which was supposed to be a celebration. It should have been a glorious event for bringing pride. I mean, some set of chromosome can not deny the fact that she went through innumerous challenges and hardship to get there, wherever she was when subjected to the preposterous test.
My heart goes to out to all these women.
I speculate, since the authorities can always pop up these tests post championships, why don’t they rather make it compulsory prior to the competition. So that the world will never know, who non-women was it that might have gotten the record, or is it that they actually want such materials and media attention at cost of lives?

माँ

Mother and Daughter
Originally uploaded by Serlunar

माँ
माँ तुम बिन कष्ट नही है बस सूनाप न है
हर बात तुम्हारी रह रह कर याद आती है
फिर लगता है , ये कहती जो तुम होती
पर कही नही , तुम आस पास
बेतार इन तारो से करूँगी कितनी बात
होता है मन मे ये भी पछतावा सा कभी कभी
नही हुआ वो, की रह ही गया ये जब तुम थी यही
हर बात तुम्हारी छोटी छोटी, हर काम तुम्हारा बड़ा बड़ा
बस तुम ही थी जो चली गयी, और सब कुछ रह गया पड़ा पड़ा
तुम्हारे चूड़ी की आवाज़ नही, नही तुम्हारी आहट है
माँ तुम बिन कष्ट नही है बस सूनाप न है
अपनी जादूभरी उंगलियो से तुमने अनगिनत कलाए की
मेरे घर के हर कोने को, कोई ना कोई निशानी दी
उन के गोलो और कांटो से, तुमने दे दिया आकार
सामने तुम्हारे ही हर दिन, हुए मेरे सपने साकार
साथ तुम्हारे , चले गये पापा भी ये कैसे हम भूलेंगे
बाते अनगिनन गीत पैरो की आहट, घर के कोने भी ढूंढ़ेंगे
हँसने और मुस्कुराने के, अब बचे नही बहाने है
माँ तुम बिन कष्ट नही है बस सूनाप न है
बन कर नन्ही सी बच्ची फिर, छिप जाऊं तुम्हारी गोदी मे
दुनिया कितनी सुंदर होती, जो बस रह जाती तुम्हारी बेटी मैं
यू ही सोचा और आई लम्हे भर को हँसी
थी तुम इतनी दूर की कुछ कह पाई नही
एक गुड़िया जैसी तुम , मुझे दूर से दिखाई दी
आँखो मे क़ैद किए आँसू, हम सब ने तुम्हे विदाई दी
कुछ ही दिन है की हम आएँगे, बस इतनी तसल्ली है

Friends Forever

Friends Forever
Originally uploaded by prabhaJha

Total 29 days to go before I am a suburban housewife again, this time also mother of two boys.
I spoke to my boss today and he looked quite excited with the idea of getting a replacement.
I am also very thrilled because my best friend had a baby girl; being mother of a boy I know how much it means to her. It means a lot to me too, can not wait to see her tonight.
That was on Wednesday 7/29 and the day I can not forget easily. I was planning to be home at time to go see the newborn. It was raining since morning with thunderstorm, though I started early enough I was surprised as I walked in to the World Trade Center Path station. It was very crowded and I had to elbow in to reach the platform. I could see cops and it seemed like some kind of emergency situation. I called my husband who was also to take the same route to home 2 hrs later. I boarded the train with others as they allowed. The train moved and we all too a sigh of relief. After the second stop at Journal Square station it was announced that t it won’t go beyond for signal problem. We only found out later that it was fallen trees and other debris on track. I had to go till the last stop to get my train home. Bewildered I got off the train with hundred others already on the platform, I noticed my next door neighbor walking next to me. I started talking and asked him if he will want to share a cab. I checked my wallet and I had only $7, which wasn’t enough. As we climbed the escalator out , a girl who was a college student asked us if we would like to share a cab with her. That was three now and we headed to the street only to find a line of about 200 people waiting for cabs. This seemed hopeless and she (we never asked each-other’s name) suggested we take a bus#1 that will take us to the station we wanted to go to. Heading to the bus depot I saw a familiar face. It was wife of my husband’s colleague I met on their office picnic only last weekend. She joined us as well, and because her cell phone just died , used my mobile to let her husband know about her where about. Coincidently Praveen and he were at the same office party. Now we boarded a bus which was taking us to a nearby train station at Hoboken.
After a ride of 20 minutes in thunder storms and rain, we were dropped off only to discover there is no train to the station we were trying to arrive. My neighbor was frustrated and did not want to board the train that was being suggested by cops there. It was like taking another detour, well I was seeing no other option and hopped on the train with Manjula.
It was just one stop from Hoboken to Secaucus from where I could actually get the train to Metuchen. As I climbed the escalator back to platform for NJ Transit trains my neighbor walked by asking me to “Not leave him around” and we all laughed. This platform was a lot calmer than the earlier stations and we started looking at the train schedules in route. I called Dolly di to look up online for the next train and she found out that the next train to Metuchen from Secaucus is only after another 40 minutes. I couldn’t wait that long and had to look for alternate option. In the mean time arrived a train to manjula’s station and she left. The train was jam packed and I did not want to board that even if it would drop me somewhat closer to my house. After 3 minutes there was another train scheduled for a different route but had a stop which was 3 miles from my home. This seemed better option than waiting 40 minutes and I called Dolly di to request a pick-up. As always she agreed to help and came to rescue. I was with her in the car after 25 minutes, half soaked, very exhausted and famished. She regretted that she did not bring something to eat on the way. That was so kind. I was home in next 10 minutes and the street was all dark because of power failure. My 5 year old was on the porch with his grand mothers, waiting eagerly. Me and Dolly di got into a very interesting and deep discussion on relationships on route. Back to home my 5month old was rolling his eyes to dark house and bright candles on table. I started eating everything I could get my hands on and it was actually very soothing for those 30 minutes till the power was restored. Pratyush discovered that he couldn’t get water from fridge and the TV, lights or AC were not functioning. It was learning experience and I wish it happens more often. Seriously , these kids are so deprived of natural living. Pratyush thought it was like camping at home.
This commute from office to home was over 3 hours and I made up my mind about quitting the very moment, I held Praket.
Communicated with my bosses and HR , I feel somewhat low and drained. I also look forward to my trip to India and spending more time with my boys.

Girl on road

Girl on road
Originally uploaded by one-fat shot!

It is just another day when I do not have much to do. I was reading some blogs, some news and then looking at pictures.
Until then, when I felt was like a sudden spark in my brain cells, and I audibly said to myself “Why not”.
The seeds were sown since I assisted in travel arrangements for Executives to Vienna and Hong Kong. I was locating the Citi offices in all the faraway countries. Once I also traveled over Netherlands map and talked to the consulate for visas. Thanks to Google maps I could get the street views and reading their names. I could see bridges across rivers and on top like pile of ants, I could see cars. I felt the butterflies in my stomach, and wished I could smell those airs right now. I knew the names and the geography but looking at a street or a building and a landmark was different.
Finally here I arrived with an idea in my mind to travel world. Yes I want to do that, at some point in my life; I want go travel around the world. I want to taste their food with them, take trains and subways in faraway countries and manage with people who might not understand more than Yes and No in the name of English. A backpack, a camera and a weathered map is all I will have.
Oh my god! In anticipation of that glorious day- I live on!

When it happens, you will know.

Howrah Station - Early morning

Howrah Station - Early morning
Originally uploaded by grantaustralia

हर रोज़ जिंदगी इतनी हँसी कहाँ होती है
हर रोज कहाँ दिखती है इतनी सुंदरता
कब ढलता सूरज बस आहट ना होकर आँधिया रे की
लगता है रंग बिखेरता पिचकारी की
हर रोज कहाँ आती है हँसी इन होत्ठो पर सोचकर कोई पुरानी बात या
करके उसको याद कभी कभी ही बस दिल करता है
जी भर जी लेने को
आज वही दिन है तो जीने दो जीभर के

Earth Rising on Moon

Earth Rising on Moon
Originally uploaded by rbhao

Just another weekend or not

This weekend was the third last weekend of my parents 6 month long visit. We were busy with 2 dinners, 1 lunch and 1 picnic. This was Citi Risk Picnic , and turned out to be a lot more fun than I expected. The following 2 weekends also seem quite busy. I was actually looking to find an online calendar where I can put up my schedule and share the same with friends, who might be trying to get some time with us. I ended up with Google calendar (recently, It seems Google has answer for all my prayers), it looked promising but I realized I do not have the access from work after signing in. So that was the end of it.
Right now, we are busy scheduling things around their stay; I wonder how it will turn out once they are gone.

I was mesmerized by these Moon Pictures, there are so many unanswered questions, and still this was a giant leap for mankind. Sunita Williams commented, “When you are in space, what hits you is the futility of drawing maps and marking boundaries. How true!

Project Green and more....

Eternal love, Eternal Life
Originally uploaded by moemoechi

It was couple month back that I read and article about global warming in National Geography. It was not just any other article, but it was a story of a family who decided to go on a “Green diet” or restrict their energy consumption. It was an eye opener. It calculates all the emissions or trash an average American family generates. It was mind boggling that how accustomed we are with excess in everything. Take energy for an instance and all the home appliances and equipments that all always plugged in or never turned off.
While we crib about the gas prices, we still avoid walking few blocks and using manual (even electric) lawn mower .The article, describes an interesting instance about the family when they decide to buy a manual lawn mower.
After that, I went on to find the exact article I was talking about but I started reading other related articles and unable to find what I was looking for.
May be its lost forever and is not within my reach. If you land on it, please let me know.
So basically, I was moved, not because it was a contributor in global warming but also because there are million of people on the other side of globe who are deprived of basic necessities such as running water and electricity. And here we are, gobbling tons of electricity and gallons of water everyday in not-so-necessary activities we are so used to of.
I ended up writing a poem and then another. That finally led me to the idea of writing a collection of short simple poems which will explain the reasons and impacts of excessiveness to pre-teen and teenagers.
I also wanted to add something that will suggest the measure we can take.
On that I started reading books and I read quite a few. I found that the book “Generation Green” was very well written keeping the teenagers in mind. It is a work of detailed research; fact oriented and contents various simple methods that can be adopted by the next generation. It is not just about few steps but altering the life style. I was impressed.
Back to my collection, I am done with 14 poems, and I target for 15 in total. While I also plan to illustrate it with some real life pictures that I have to start working on, sooner than later.
I plan to get this book ready by the Thanksgiving which is a tough target considering my month long India trip around Durga Puja.
And I believe there is no fun without challenges.
Yes! You read it correct – I plan to be in Calcutta this year around Puja. I only wonder how my 5 year old will react to all the clamor and horde. Based on my past experiences I assume he will like it while my 8 months old will only marvel at everything. This will be his first India trip. That reminds me how scared Pratyush was of the ceiling fans when he visited India at 8 months age.
Alta has left and I ventured the cafeteria on my own to grab some lunch, at 12:45 PM it was bustling. It was full and I assume mostly with the analyst class of 2009. People were all over, and I told myself. This is life.
It is just about me, you and others who are present right at this moment, sharing life.
Life is no riddle but the most obvious thing you sense around you, is life.

All the blogs ...I wanted to comment on!

day 128 - comment (explosion)
Originally uploaded by gunsvl

I have access to the blog sites from my work though I can not post new blog ( except, via flickr - Thank you Alta) and I can not comment on the either.
Here are few of those, that I visited recently and some I visit every day.
http://pandorastwocents.blogspot.com/
By Sweta Vikram, a writer and Capricorn ( please ignore, Its for my reference) residing in NY.
http://raipur1.blogspot.com/
From my dear Dolly didi.

http://binny55.blogspot.com/
From Vidya di.

http://jhajaya.blogspot.com/
I landed on the blog, randomly and it has not been updated since long.
http://jayajha.wordpress.com/
http://texification.blogspot.com/
Alta's Blog
http://aficionad-o.blogspot.com/
My 10 year old nephew, from Seattle WA
http://www.kalebstravels.com/
Another accident...

Guess thats all.

So long ....Alta

toyland-9291
Originally uploaded by Alta Marie

Today is Friday and there are invitations lined up for the weekend. Irony is, I am not looking forward to them.
Tonight I go to visit a friend for dinner, after work. Oh wait…after work, I go for the “Drinks with Alta”. As today is her last day, sob...Sob...Who knew…?
That’s the first and worst of all, followed by the fact that I went to the gym for only 2 days this week, terrible…
And an episode of heartbreak from a very close friend, at least I thought so.
My parents have another 2 weekends here and may be …

I am at loss of words here, Alta! I am going to miss you.

It is not as ….as it was earlier

Thinking, Drinking, Sinking, Feeling. (Explored!)
Originally uploaded by PsstMinnie

Has this happened with you? You went to a new restaurant just because there was no other option and gave it ashot. The food tasted heavenly and then later you bring you friends to dine and it is just not as good as it was supposed to be.
You went to a show or place and were dumbstruck with the charm, which is lost when you revisit.

The reason: I gave it a deep thought and all I could come up with that, it is just another trick of mind.
At our first encounter we set to standard or expectation and are ready for anything served to us. Physically our mind, taste buds and other senses are also ready to accept anything that comes. The senses are delighted with little pleasure and the surprise factor even enhances it.
But it is not the case next time, when we have created hype about it. And so we are physically and mentally ready to expect something beyond the pleasure, which is sure to be defeated because there is missing the surprise factors and the high standards set, are impossible to meet.
Wondering, is it our expectation which restricts us from enjoying the life at its best, be it relationship or a lunch from cafeteria?

कहानी

Open Book (60/365+1)
Originally uploaded by thinklia

कहानी
मेरे पास एक कहानी है, जो सबको मुझे बतानी है
ना राजा की ना परियो ना, ना भूत प्रेत और सदियो की
कथा है हम जैसे पागलो की, इन हाड़ माँस के पुतलो की
जो सुनते हैं और देखते है, जिनके दर्द मे आंसू बहते हैं
जिनकी रगो मे बेहेता है एक जैसा खून
पेशानी पे चमकती है मेहनत की बूँद
बात ये कुछ नयी नही, तुम सोचोगे फिर मैं क्यू सुनू
क्यूकी ये बात तुम्हारी है, तुम चाहोगे बस वो ही सुनू
एक बच्चा था, तुम जैसे थे एक दिन, जिसकी आँखो मे सपने थे
जिसकी बातो मे जादू था, जिसके उंगली मे बिजली थी
जिसके मन मे अरमान थे और डिब्बे मे बंद तितली थी
बात ऐसे भी पुरानी नही की तुमको याद नही होगा
जाओ ढुंढ़ो उस किताब मे , एक मे सूखा लाल गुलाब होगा
क्यू रखा था, संहाल कर इतना, इक छोटी सी तो निशानी थी
वो ना मिला जिसको पाने की, तुमने मन मे तुमने ठानी थी
कैसी ज़िद थी, ज़िद थी भी या नही?
ज़िद जो थी, तो पूरी क्यू ना हुई?
क्यू बुझी आग, क्यू सोए भाग, क्यू छोड़ दिया उम्मीद ने साथ?
यहाँ तक की बात थी सबको पता, पर फिर क्या अब ये तो सुनो
लेकर वो फूल , और लेकर ये ज़िद, तुम जैसा ही वो, पर अब और नही
तोड़े बंधन, थामा सपनो का हाथ , अपनी ज़िद से उसने पलटी सारी बात
वो तुम ही हो, और है ये तुम्हारा भविश्य , मैं नही ज्योतिष् ना हो तुम कमजोर
बस एक बार, लगाओ ज़ोर, ना मानो हार, जब तक है साँस
क्यू करते हो सपनो का स्राध
इस इंतेज़ार मे बैठे हैं, कब तुम इस नींद से जागोगे
छोड़कर वो जो सभी करते हैं, सपनो के पीछे भागोगे
ये नही कोई मरीचिका, जिसने ये कहा वो झूठा था
हाथो मे नही है लकीर कोई ना भाग्य तुम्हारा रूठा था
जाओ जी लो, इससे पाले की वक़्त और भी रहे नही
उन सपनो का मतलब ही क्या जो सपने पूरे हुए नही

Life vs. Stuff

Smart Women Save
Originally uploaded by Blogging Women

Simple dos and don’ts towards spending on life than stuff

• Watching movie with family at local theater, add popcorn.
Instead of installing home theater system with LCD projector.
• Camping in local camp ground, it gives more time together than traveling place.
Instead of tour to Disney/Europe/etc where not only you spend a fortune but also spend time rushing from one place/ride to another regretting what you might miss.
• Have dinner with friends and family at home or if weather permits, fire the grill.
Instead of dine in restaurants, where people are confused about what to order stressed about expense and spend time comparing food from one place to another and deciding the worth. Whew!
• Raid closets and swap valuables with friends and family, share video games and wii games
Instead of buying every expensive bag, jewelry, perfume or game.
• Visit local library, they usually have all the books available in market and also you can put them on hold.
Instead of waiting and forgetting about the book you wanted to read or should have read.
• Hand me downs: Maternity cloths, infant wardrobe, crib, bassinets, strollers, toys, games
Not only you save money but also create bonding.
Instead of: you know what!
• When shopping for groceries, a combination of organic and non-organic is okay. Statistics shows that some foods if consumed non-organic do not make any difference.
Instead of going on all-organic diet which is significantly expensive.
• Sit on the deck/porch, when nothing to do.
Instead of starting the engine and head to the mall.
• Raid the pantry/fridge to decide what to cook for dinner tonight.
Instead of print recipe online and go shopping for all the ingredients for dinner tonight.
• Make a brown bag with the leftover.
Instead of wondering what should I do with the left over?
• Walk whenever you can. It saves gas, plant and gym-bucks. Bonus – quality time with your walking partner.
Instead of driving to places within a mile.
• Compare prices at for supplies from wholesalers and local grocery stores/drug store before stocking up. Stocked up items eat up the space you play mortgage for.
Instead of buying in bulk and let it expire.
• Grow your garden of flowers and vegetables. Spend in perennials.
We know, fresh flowers are expensive, and when it comes from backyards you have the luxury to have few fresh on your bed side every day.
• Finally, if you buy something the reason must be because I-need-because-I-will-use-it.
Instead of everybody-else-bought-it or to join-the-club

रूठे रूठे

Upset...!!
Originally uploaded by Kuang Woo (so busy)

रूठे रूठे से हैं मिज़ाज
जो उनके आज
तो कैसे समझाएँगे हम, उनको सारी
मन की बाते, क्या कह पाएँगे ?
कब से बैठे थे टक टॅकी लगा
देखेंगे वो जब हमको आज
पूछेंगे हाल, हम दिल निकाल
रख देंगे कदमो मे उनके
लेकिन किससे अब करनी बाते
वो कहते भी तो नही की
हुआ है क्या, और हमने किया है क्या
किस बात की ये अनबन और
क्यू हैं ठनी ये जंग
क्यू मन मे मेरे और उनके भी
है ये दीवार किसने खीची हैं ये लकीर
कब तक हंस हंस कर और फुसला कर
पूछूंगी मैं बात और कितनी
जिद्दी हो तुम तो हम भी है
जाओ तुम, हम अपनी राह
एक बार अभी, वो रोकेंगे
इतराते हैं ये सोच सोच
कैसे हैं वो जो बैठे है
गुम सूम से खोए खोए से
जो कह दोगे तो जानेंगे
यू धोखे मे रखकर क्या होगा
मेरा पागलपन या इश्क कहो
कभी तो सपना पूरा होगा

कहाँ से आए बदरा

Singing in the rain
Originally uploaded by neloqua

कहाँ से आख़िर आए हैं
ये घूंघरले काले बादल
परसो से नभ पे छाए है
ये मतवारे पागल बादल
कभी घूमड़ घूमड़
कभी छलक छलक
ये गिरते हैं और गिराते हैं
पानी की ठंढी बूँदो से
ये भीगे हैं , भिगाते हैं
मिट्टी पे जब ये गिरते हैं
खुश्बू सौंधी दे जाते हैं
छान से तपती सी धरती को
मिलो ठंढक पहुँचते हैं
तालो मे झीलो मे या गडढो मे
बनते हैं पानी के घेरे
मेरे मन पे भी बरसो आज
हो शीतल पावक सारे


आजकल बारीशो का मौसम है यहाँ. ये जो शनिवार से शुरू हुई है शायद रविवार तक यू ही चलेगी.
वैसे तो मुझे बारिश अच्छी ही लगती है. कल मैं कार की खिड़की खुली रख भूल गयी थी. अचनाक मेरा ध्यान गया की बारिश बहुत तेज़ हो रही है. जब तक मैने जाकर खिड़की को बंद किया, सामने के दोनो सीट पर काफ़ी पानी आ चुका था. इस भाग दौड़ मे मैं भी भीग गयी. लेकिन मुझे उसकी कोई शिकायत नही थी. आख़िर कितनी ही बार मुझे ऐसा मौका मिलता है.
काश की कर और थोड़े दूर होती और दरवाजा खोलने मे थोड़ा ज़्यादा समय लगता.
हिन्दी मेरी भाषा.

Thread

Thread
Originally uploaded by Penseye

रिश्ते दिलो के , ये प्रेम की डोरी
बाँधे हैं जिसने ये सारी पृथ्वी
बाटो जो खुशिया जाते है गम भी
रोशन है दुनिया हमारी तुमसे ही
दूरी हो कितनी हो कितने फ़ासले
इस प्यार से जुड़ते है टूटे हौसले
उम्मीद पे इसके की मिलेंगे वो हमको
दिन क्या साल क्या, गुजारी है जिंदगी
एक छोटी सी बात पर, बिगड़ते हालात
छुरी को धार पर हो जब सारे ज़ज़्बात
बंद करके आँखे, बस ढुंढ़ो वो तार
बदल जे तुम्हारे धड़कनो की ताल, हर एक बार
ये पागलो सी बाते, हैं हमने भी मानी
सोचोगे तुम की आख़िर है क्या ये नादानी
है ज़िद ये हमारा , है हमने ये ठानी
रहेंगे उम्रभरहम, बस तुम्हारी ही परेशानी
~
टूटे हैं जिनके ये मन के धागे
हैं किस्मत के फूटे सारे अभागे